Have been lately witnessing extreme “labelling” (being judgemental about almost every small statement, deeds or actions) by a few, either to each-other or within a group of small Socio-community circle.
Why someone would compulsively label & thus be constantly judgemental about someone’s nature, thoughts, behaviour & action?
This has become all the more prevalent in this age of social media, where your silence is labelled as arrogance, or being indifferent, or as ignorance or may be as being dull.
It seems everyone here is hell-bent on somehow trying to be too visible in order to get attention for their presence, thus justifying and winning a label or two from the other members of the social media community.
I personally believe, everyone has their own choices & moods. Their own beliefs. Their own liking & dis-liking. And thus, their own experiences.
Why would anyone want or say expect the other, to be responding to their wishes & acts, and label them as right or wrong, good or bad, smart or dull, purely based on their own perceptions & understanding of the situation?
Why anyone is asked to be imperative to respond to every question raised?
There are certainly more provisions, options & choices, beyond & above just being mere affirmative or negative on our responses. Wherein, as an individual every one can choose to be silent, choose to be not so proactive and even, choose to be not responding at all.
I was getting curious to know why such type of behaviours are getting more & more styled obvious and being followed blindly by one and all, like a flock of herd.
And, I believe, the answer lies somewhere within, in the trend & tendency of an individual, to get into “loop of mutual admiration”, out of one’s own reservations, limited perceptions & thus some sort of insecurity.
Could it be stated as lack of confidence about one’s own identity?
Now the valid question is, who doesn’t like being noticed, being appreciated & admired, getting approved & being followed?
But in fact, as one is (over)exposed in their capacity, capability, style & behaviour, in the process to expand their network, on/through various social media presences, they actually tend to become more susceptible & vulnerable to scrutiny for their every word & thought.
And let’s accept & remember the fact, that, “Bigger” the network, doesn’t imply “closer”.
Thus, here under extreme scrutiny one undergoes constant scanning of prying eyes. One mistake & tens of good deeds of wisdom get erased & forgotten & propagated at a faster pace due to advent & evolution of social networking medium. So such a situation (may be) makes one apparently highly insecure about their position, relationship & status vis-à-vis others, within the same circle.
Now this apparent insecurity may be the factor which acts as a catalyst, prompting one to often keep mechanically responding, pleasing, admiring & applauding a few, just to step into equal & opposite “mutual admiration web”.
This doesn’t imply that such an act of giving attention & words of appreciation and admiration, is always robotic or not heartfelt.
But sometimes, seemingly, irrelevant, in-significant, un-important statement or the event, which otherwise do not deserve to be or need to be even mentioned in any of the social media public platforms; gets noticed & responded, eventually being followed & sequentially falling into line of response(s) one after the other.
(No offence here to hurt any sentiments. It’s purely prerogative of an individual’s perception).
Being an integral part of this society ourselves, & carrying responsibility for the Gen-Next of our families, it somehow, prompts us to think little harder & contemplate about what type of web are we all getting trapped into?
Whether & does the mention of certain statement or an act or the post actually needs to be shared, blindly & so often, on such mediums?
Does such sharing(s), really invokes the interests of anyone in the group or improves upon any of the current situations?
Does it brings about or paving way for higher wisdom, awareness, or in anyways positively adding to the existing knowledge?
Or is it just that the posting & response to the same is, (maybe) an automatic mechanical compulsive response (I have started calling it as Robotic), so that by attending to his/her post may allow you to reserve a few of their responses for your future posts & uploads?
To me, it sounds and seems, utterly silly & ridiculous.
I repeat, this is the result or an outcome of an im-matured handling & understanding of (evolved) technology.
Every individual is suddenly stark naked within their own created web.
Let’s be little more responsible.
There is something like a “A personalized Private Living”.
We all have our own private lives to live for. Our close families, who actually needs our real, pure, honest attention & response.
Why not keep & apply our storehouse of never-ending flow of messages (forwards) of wisdom, in our own lives, for our very own immediate family with whom we are, what we actually are?
It’s said that the message forwards which are repeatedly referred, re-iterated, stressed upon by anyone, on any social media group or a platform, is (actually) one of the weal-links of the same person referring to it, again & again.
It’s like if I have hundreds of ways to advise about how one should have peaceful sleep at night, implies that I am already struggling with the same, myself.
It’s like if I keep advising innovative ways of keeping fit and being healthy, may imply that I myself is already struggling at that front.
It’s like convincing our own self about few things & few ways, we think & we desire.
Good. No harm in that. But the point is, that there are few actions, few decisions, few commitments & stands, one needs to take & implement it themselves for their own good, and try to achieve small goals in that direction, rather than putting up, sharing up & advising so much to get attention and “thumbs up” for every mention about the same in multiple social media outings.
Why do we can’t resist the tendency of getting into justifying & judging every act and event and in that case, even a person around us?
Such a tendency is detrimental to any relationship.
Everyone has a situation & circumstances of their own. Social, economic, psychological, emotional resistances & short comings of their own.
How could one be judgemental about the successes and failures of others & make a law out of it?
How could similar set of preconceived, prejudiced, actions & responses bring about desired outcomes for someone else with different set of parameters & altogether different plane of reference?
About finding a perfect relationship and getting judgemental about everyone coming into your life, a wonderful sequence is shown in a Shahrukh-Aalia starrer movie “Dear Zindagi…”
On Aalia raising doubt & disappointment about not finding Mr Perfect, Shahrukh replies :
Why hunting for just ONE special rishta?
Life mein there are & can be so many special rishtas.
Alag alag ehsaas ke liye, alag alag special rishte..
Like special musical rishta (same music taste), special gossip rishta, like special intellectual rishta, special coffee rishta…
Sab rishton ke ehsaas ki responsibility, ye burden kisi ek rishte par dalna…A bit unfair you know!! :)”
This may imply, restricting ourselves & calling the shots from within our own comfort zones, how can we keep asking/expecting for similar types of ehsaas (feelings) from every person we meet?
One has to accept & understand that life is made up of various cycles. Ups-downs, happy-sad, laughs-cries, motivated-depressed, simple-subtle, success-failure, easy-challenging.
And in different set of situation, there may be different kind of relationships whose presence needs to be acknowledged & appreciated.
If someone can make you laugh, then may be the other person beside him/her who has the capacity to stand by you in your moments of cry.
If someone is intellectual to be able to offer solution to every problem of yours, there may be somebody beside his/her who would stand by you when in spite of super guidance you fail & feel down and out.
If someone keeps praising (flatters) you, may be to make you feel always special, there may be somebody beside his/her who would understand the real you, and smiles with you when you are not feeling loved about your own self.
If someone has flowery words and answers for all your questions and statements, then there may be somebody beside him/her who would silently watch your eyes and understand that every doubts, every question, doesn’t need answers. May be just holding hand is enough.
If someone is not visible enough physically, when others are constantly hovering around you, just take a moment of pause to think, that did you find that face & image behind you, beside you, when u actually needed them? If the answer within you is “YES”, then do not bother if you don’t see them in regular cycles. They may have something more important to attend to. Everyone has their own life and as mentioned earlier, their own set of situations to deal with. So don’t (never) jump on being judgemental about them.
Let’s accept – Few things in life are eternal & natural.
Few people in life are, just there, just like that. They are not to be made to pass through the test of our eyes, thoughts & desires.
Few acts & events are just there, as they are, not to be analysed & justified, based on our ignorance & limited perceptions.
By too much of aggressive labelling & being judgemental about everything, though unknowingly, or may be unintentionally too, we create an atmosphere where few of our near & dear ones start feeling suffocated. It’s beyond them to become a part of our big-bang shouts & thus they do not have an option, but to keep withdrawing from every such situation which is beyond them to get adjusted to. And gradually in no time, we shall have many such individuals, leading a lonely life of their own, carrying various kinds of labels as burden on their back.
So, actually the technological medium(s) which are being created with a vision & intention to bring the world closer, to connect with each other, may actually generate more of the loners, by our ignorance & mis-use of these platforms to ultimately have AN EXACT OPPOSITE OUTCOME.
Let’s stop putting & pulling anyone & everyone into specific brackets or class.
Let’s stop being always critical & extremely judgemental about anybody, or in that case any events or happenings.
Let’s respect & honour the law of nature & sensitize ourselves by being a good spectator, a good intent listener & be empathetic & humble with our words & deeds.
Wisdom says, no one can disturb & disrupt you, unless you yourself allow them to. True. It’s none of our business to see what others are doing and why? But in actuality, we haven’t yet reached that state of being completely in control, where we can keep & remain fully detached & unaffected, along with & besides all the attachments and connected-ness that we live our lives with.
I strongly believe,
EVERYBODY NEEDS SPACE TO BREATHE & ALLOW THEM THEIRS.
By- Sanjay Jogani – 15th June-2017